Are You Being “Ghosted” by a Customer?

My kids are getting older and I, like most parents have to put an effort into keeping up with their street jive. My son kept referring to things as “OP” for a while and I nodded and grinned inanely as he shared another TikTok video with me that he found hilarious but left me colder than a corpse. “Isn’t it OP daddy?!” he would ethusiastically ask. “Yep, I’ve not seen something that OP since yesterday when you showed me that loud American chap pretending to be so blown away when opening a blind bag toy that he fainted!”

I’ll pause now for those of you who need to Google what OP actually means………..

What is “Ghosting”?

A new term in the last 12 months for me in business is that of “Ghosting”. Now for someone that inadvertently Googled “tea-bagging” on a work computer some years ago I was unnerved when I heard this phrase come up in conversation. “I can’t believe that customer ghosted me again”. You can imagine some of the images swirling around my innocent and frankly out-of-date head. (I still put noses on smiley faces).

Now that I run my own business I can Google without receiving a verbal warning and was relieved to learn that “ghosting” is a new word for “ignoring” and “avoiding”. I’m certainly getting older but there seem to be a lot of newer words for things that don’t really seem nescessary but perhaps it is just part of the evolution of the English language. I can’t retain any level of credibility by continuing to use phrases from the late 80s or early 90s such as “burmo” or “cowabunga” although I think the time is probably right to bring the former back, right?

The “Ghosting” Sequence

Personally I’ve never professionally “ghosted” anyone. I always encouraged and practiced responding to people - even if it had been determined that I didn’t need their services or want to deal with them. It seems the right thing to do and will save everyone time in the long run. But this isn’t universally adopted as I’m sure you’ve all found out. So here is a common "ghosting” sequence: -

You promote your products or services

A prospect expresses an interest

You take time to understand their need

You agree to send a proposal

You spend time using all of the information you’ve gained to send them a personalised proposal to suit their needs

They fall off the edge of the effing world as you try to follow up with them

You vow to yourself that you will follow them up and get in touch with them if it kills you

It nearly kills you

You eventually give up

You wish there was an option on your CRM to mark the deal as “Closed - Ghosting Mutha……..”

Yes. It’s happened to me.

Why Do Customers “Ghost”?

I think there are a few reasons but the very nature of a “ghosting” client means that you might never find out so to be honest these are my best assumptions.

1. They’re dead. They’re actually ghosts. Fair enough, rest in peace.

2. They’re weak. You know those people who accept an invitation to an event and then don’t have the decency to tell you that they can’t make it? Those people. The people who think that it is okay to just not reply or turn up. To waste your time and money and act like nothing ever happened next time they see you.

3. They hate you. Yep, you can’t hit it off with everyone and they’re avoiding you. You’re that person and they can’t stand even telling you to go away. Harsh but occasionally true. You’re the equivalent of that scratching sound when removing something from a heavily frosted freezer - eeeeuugh.

4. You didn’t qualify properly in the first place. You wanted to send them a proposal so much that you didn’t listen. They used your puppy eyed, blinkered approach against you and agreed to receiving a proposal to get rid of you.

5. They are up to their eyes. Sometimes grenades are dropped in business and priorities change. Your proposal might be business critical to you but things have changed for them.

6. They’re on leave. It might be unexpected or they’ve not signposted some planned holiday. Phew - you don’t smell after all.

7. They’ve left. They have moved on from the company and you’re chasing a shadow. Their phone hasn’t been reassigned and there is no message on their emails. They haven’t updated LinkedIn yet. But eventually you’ll find this out if you don’t give up or change your approach.

   And to be honest I can’t think of other reasons - as anything else I can think of falls into at least one of these categories.

Sometimes a “ghost” is just too weak to face up to you.

How to be a “Ghostbuster”.

When following up a proposal I don’t give up easily. With a CRM system, online diaries, reminders, notifications and a will to succeed that ghost has to be of Marshmallow Man proportions before I confirm it is a definitive “no”. So my first tip is to remain professional and keep following up.

Changing your method of following up is my second. They might be screening your number if you’re calling. They might have assigned your email address to go straight to their trash. Try going through social media. Or via reception. If they’re nearby, why not drop in on them?

Cutting your losses is another strategy. Trust your gut instinct and accept that you’ve already wasted enough of your time and resource on this person. It wasn’t meant to be and if they’re happy to “ghost” people do you really want to work with them anyway?

Go over their heads. This is risky. If they have a genuine reason that they’re not got back to you then if you get this wrong you’ll almost certainly blow it. So tread carefully here and chose your words carefully. But if done correctly then you’ll at least know where you stand.

Diary ahead by a distance. Sometimes things get parked and revisiting something down the line might be all it takes. Timing is everything in business. If Apple had shown an iPod to the Victorians they’d have burned them as witches.

So “ghosting” happens. Its now a thing with a new(ish) name and is just part of doing business. But hopefully this post helps you see that it isn’t just happening to you. And if it is happening to you it might not be because of something you did or didn’t do so don’t be too hard on yourself. So if you’re being ghosted try to focus on the positive - they might be dead.